Mike (floyddoorz) wrote,

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KGB: Because You're A Complete Fucking Idiot

Maybe you've seen a KGB commercial on TV. If not, here's one:

The premise is this: You text a question to 542542 (because 542 spells out KGB on a telephone, get it?) and they give you an answer. Also, they charge you money. This is great if you need an answer to something fast, unless of course YOUR CELLPHONE HAS TEH INTERNETS. If you have enough information that you are able to assemble it in the form of a coherent question, you have enough information that you can Google it. And unlike KGB, Google is free on your phone, assuming that you have a data plan. And you should. What's the point of having a cellphone if you can't compulsively check Facebook from it? Actually talking to people in real-time? MEH.

Also, this KGB commercial really freaking irritates me:

The concept of a "brain fart" pisses me off, so much. I know KGB didn't invent the phrase, but since I don't hang around with complete tools, it's been years since I've had to hear or see it. The commercial defines a brain fart as "an involuntary release of ignorance". That's a great description for Turret's, but a terrible description for a brain fart. In the commercial, the professor asks his class who sculpted "The Thinker" and none of them can come up with it. That's not an involuntary release of ignorance, that's a mental block. So, a brain fart is actually the OPPOSITE of what they say it is. It's not an involuntary release of ignorance, it's an involuntary holding in of information. So the phenomena should be called "brain constipation". Not only is it more accurate, it's also slightly classier. Farts, both the word itself and the action, are disgusting things that should be mentioned as infrequently as possible.

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